I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
