Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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