I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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