If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
