never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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