Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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