I'm so fucking centered right now
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
