That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
