I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
What drink are we having for lunch?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
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