She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
