honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
