They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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