yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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