who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
