Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
