When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
