Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
