lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
