Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize