don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
