The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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