then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
