Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
