So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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