i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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