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She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
