There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
