how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
