As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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