It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
