Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
