I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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