Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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