The maid of honor just puked.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
