I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
