Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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