it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
