I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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