my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
