I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
