goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
