Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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