There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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