I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
