Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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