Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
