he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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