How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize