I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
