the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
