your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
