apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
