dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
