I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize