If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
