like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
