Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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