Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Watching her eat just hurts me
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize