Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
