My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
