i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
