Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
