Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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