Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
