We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
