hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Randomize
