I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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