I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
