I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
