Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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