I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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