I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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