Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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