I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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