The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
