HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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