i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
