someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
