That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
